Mrs Bhamra to Jess: "Your sister's getting engaged and you're sitting here watching this skinhead boy!"
Joe: "Look, Jess. I saw it. She fouled you. She tugged your shirt. You just overreacted, that's all."
Jess: "That's not all. She called me a Paki. But I guess that's something you wouldn't understand."
Joe: "Jess, I'm Irish. Of course I understand what that feels like."
Paula: That's why she's been so depressed lately cos' that Jess broke her heart! She's in love. With a girl!
Alan Paxton: You're jumping to all the wrong conclusions
Paula: But I heard her! No wonder she never looked twice at the Kevin or brought any boys home. I tried to get her nice clothes, you know we've had some lovely prints in this summer you know in swimwear and sarongs and that. She never wants to go shopping with me. It was terrible what they did to that George Michael going on about him and his private business in the papers like that! Oh No!
Alan Paxton: George Michael is still a superstar and you still listen to Wham!
Joe: "Where do you normally play?"
Jess: "In the park."
Joe: "No... I meant what position?"
Paula Paxton to Jules: "Honey, all I'm saying is that there is a reason why sporty spice is the only one without a fella."
Family elder: "It will be your turn soon. Eh? Do you want a clean-shaven boy like your sister? Or a proper Sikh, with a full beard and turban?"
Team mate: "So, if you can choose does that mean you can marrying a white boy?"
Jess: "White, no. Black definetly not, a Muslim eh-eh."
Team mate: "Guess you'll be marrying an Indian then."
Joe to Jess: "Your parents don't always know what's best for you, Jess."